November 22nd 2001 was and still remains one of the most nerve-wracking and exciting days of the life of the 15 year old boy sat, flanked by his parents, waiting in the long halls of the Yorkshire County Cricket Club office buildings. With palms sweating and knees shaking, he sat anticipating the appearance of the man who he had spent the last 3 years of his life trying to impress. The Yorkshire academy director Steve Oldham had the ability to terrify him, while at the same time holding the power to make or break his dreams. At this moment Steve, it would seem, had decided to make them.

 

As this 15 year old boy, this was the moment all my dreams were to become reality, I was about to sign for the Yorkshire academy and begin a journey that was to take me through the ranks of the club and on to the pinnacle of world cricket. I was to score game saving centuries for club and country, take catches that defied gravity and stumpings that defied logic, and I was to do so for the next twenty years. Or so I thought.

 

Fast forward three years and this same boy could be found sat on a bench, all alone in the streets of Headingley, wearing a tear stained Yorkshire County Cricket Club training shirt, head in hand, sobbing loudly. The words of then Yorkshire County Cricket Club director of cricket David Byas, “we’re letting you go because we think you need to be playing regular 2nd team cricket and we simply can’t offer you that”, did nothing to ease the pain and one thought raced through his mind, ‘where did it all go wrong?’

 

This is a question I have asked myself many times over the last four years and each time I’ve managed to come up with a different answer. Answers to these questions have put my failings as a professional cricketer down to bad luck, bad coaching, bad umpiring and pretty much bad everything. This was because I was adamant that during my time at the club I worked much harder than any other player on the playing staff and therefore, despite having less talent than some of them, I deserved my dreams to become reality. Truth be told, I was angry and I was bitter.

 

Now, five years after my time at Yorkshire came to a premature end, and a year into a return to semi-professional cricket with Farsley Cricket Club after a four year long self imposed exile from playing any form of cricket, I am able to look upon my time with Yorkshire far more objectively.

 

Yes it’s true that perhaps there were times when umpiring decisions didn’t go my way, or when luck might perhaps have shone more favourably on me. However the likes of Adil Rashid, Ajmal Shahzad and Tim Bresnan also came across these issues and each has graduated the academy and 2ndXl teams in which I played and recently gone on to represent England at senior level. So what is the secret? What is the recipe for success and achievements that all young boys dream about when they first pick up a bat and ball?

 

Truth be told, I really don’t know. Perhaps it’s largely down to luck and being in the right place at the right time. Perhaps it’s just meant to be. What I do know though is that it’s better to have given it your all, to have taken advantage of every bit of coaching and practise that came your way and to have no regrets, than to always wonder, what if? What if I’d have tried slightly harder or focused a little bit more? What if I had prepared slightly better for that game or that practise session? So if there is any useful advice that I can offer to any young players about to embark on a similar journey then my first thought would be to emphasise the obvious need for hard work and determination, but in fact something else springs to mind which I’d like to stress.

 

When I look back upon my time with Yorkshire my mind blows at some of the scenarios I found myself in with some of the all-time greats of the game. From keeping wicket to Darren Gough steaming in to bowl on his comeback game from career threatening knee injury or with Michael Vaughan walking to the crease in a pre-season practise match after being recently crowned the world’s number one batsman, to having a one-on-one practise session with Sachin Tendulkar or discussing the art of bating with Darren Lehmann. But when I think back to these great experiences I do have one regret. I regret that I never took the time to sit back and take in what was happening and just simply enjoy the moment. I never did this because I always thought that the next great experience was just around the corner, until one day I found myself sat on that bench in Headingley wondering if any great experience was ever going to happen to me again. Perhaps if I’d have taken the time to enjoy and appreciate playing and practising more then I might have achieved my dreams. Who knows, but one thing’s for sure I’d have had a great time finding out!!!